Fans of the original play will recall Mercury, the fleet-footed deliverer of messages and pizzas, and the fateful brick through the window of Sal’s Famous Pizzeria that he was forced to throw. Last week, an intrepid group of guerilla actors staged a ‘mobile revival’ of the bard’s classic across England, to mixed nuts.
While early shows in Tottenham, Hackney, and Birmingham were met by favorable crowds, critics soon put the Tank’s revival to rest amidst a gale of professional consideration.
‘Da Mayor’ of London, ABC’s Cynthia McFadden gushed: “A bunch of shiftless, marginalized peoples singing their lives out in real time!? I couldn’t have cared less…Give me ‘Cape-Man’ and STAT!” McFadden went on to gush, “While the death of any Radio Raheem is clearly a tragedy, violence is never a justifiable option for the poor and marginalized of London. Shame on you, “Oliver”! And shame on all of you, perpetually animate objects! Keith, can I get a witness?”
Stupid, self-aggrandizing, cheats-at-solitaire-to-up-his-profile-liberal-loudmouth commentator, Keith Olberman, could not have agreed more: “Precisely, Shannon. Shame on you, whatever sirs that aren’t exactly me and my projected demographic (“30 Something”) Now, look — at my cursory knowledge of the Murrow Code and Geraldo Riviera’s terraform triumphs throughout the 80’s and 90’s! FOUR STARS, Driptank! “
Meanwhile, the actual mayor of London, Gary ‘Boris’ Johnson, hit the bricks on a stump tour to assure citizens that ‘Sal’s Mostly Famous Kebab Shoppe’ would be restored to order post haste and that all ‘rogue actors’ would receive their full silver medal of theater from the incredibly-stable-and-house-is-well-in-order constabulary-outfit, the Metropolitan Police (Scotland Yard.)
What was perhaps most fascinating was veteran theater critic and historian in residence, David Starkey’s stunning rave that “the whites have become just like the blacks.” (Starkey is a frequent contributor and guest to the nation’s state television network the BBC.)